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It's a bit frustrating. I feel this intense need to articulate my thoughts on paper. I believe that it might help me achieve some clarity in my emotions, however, I lack the patience.
I'm quite lonely, here in this city. I work with some smart people, and I'd like to befriend some of them. It is a mixture of a few internal and external complications that I don't think I'm confident enough to navigate, at least in this moment.
Social conventions and norms are sometimes just ridiculous. You know it, I know it, most people will agree and some of them might actually be confident enough to not care about public expectation. I mostly worry about being misunderstood, even when I have the best of intentions. In my 20s, I thought I I had managed to get over it when I met some wonderful, non-judgemental people. But, as soon as I had established some sort of stable friendship, I was compelled to move again. It sucks. I'm exhausted of this routine—of uprooting my life, moving to a new city, getting interesting in the new job, and then failing over and over again at establishing a dependable social circle.